Fat Girls with Stuffed Animals

I'm going to keep this blog short because I'm exhausted after running around all day. I finally got to see Harry Potter, though. It was....pretty damn good--though honestly, I think the pace could have been a little slower and the movie a bit longer. It drives me nuts when they cram too much into a movie. Anyways, back to the point of this blog.

After a year of being lazy and eating whatever I damned well please, I'm trying my best to get back on track. I thought I had it back in March when I got a personal trainer. And for a while, I did lose some weight--about 15 pounds. But, I've gained it all back, and about 5 more pounds. Fantastic, right? So what caused all this? Well, maybe I'll get more into this tomorrow, but for tonight let's leave it at stress.

The point is, with the help of a brutally honest friend, I've discovered that I am in fact a fat chick with stuffed animals. This isn't to say I'm fat--well I am, let's face it--or that I have stuffed animals, which I don't. What it is saying is that I'm replacing the things I need to be happy with fillers. Lack of physical intimacy, lack of job satisfaction, lack of self-satisfaction, lack of meaningful friendships and having people to hang out with. So what do I replace these important things with? The internet. Online relationships that--except for one or two--have no real meaning to me. Time wasting games that also waste money. And FOOD. Yes, that's right...I replace valuable needs with food. This is why I'm fat. Chocolate cake tastes even better when you realize that you don't have a boyfriend or that you're broke as hell.

Well, time to break that damn cycle. It all starts with making the bed, I kid you not. But...I'll tell you more about that tomorrow.