Day Fifty-Seven: Weigh-in 8

That's two months now of success...well relatively two months...two lunar months--there that sounds better. I'm down to 269.0lbs! Only 9lbs from my mini-goal. It's hard to believe now that I ever doubted I could even lose this much. Even better, my BMI is 0.9 points away from morbid obesity. Granted, I have a ways to go before I'm just overweight or in a healthy weight range, but that means something.

I've been sick since my last post. Seems my allergies triggered a sinus infection and post-nasal drip...which has now caused a nasty cough and what feels like a mild case of bronchitis. So, I've been sleeping late in the mornings and drinking a lot of tea. Actually, all I drank at work yesterday was hot tea. Which definitely helped pass the 11 hours--well reading Harry Potter might have helped a bit more than the tea, but at least the tea made breathing bearable. I would have skipped work, but I can't. Not only do I need the money, but my boss wasn't even in town yesterday.

I was actually concerned that being sick would make me careless in what I eat, but overall, I wasn't. I even exercised most days. Though I did take yesterday off due to the bronchitis. Seems as though nothing's going to slow me down.

Day Fifty-One: Weigh-in 7

Current Weight: 273.4lbs
Current Mood: Exuberant

Sadly, I think I'm getting sick. That or my allergies are bothering me. I have a sore throat, which doesn't seem like much, but I always get a sore throat before I get sick. I was also around my cousin's baby all weekend....my cousin's always-sick baby. Children are receptacles for germs.

Aside from that, it's been a good week. My eating's been pretty normal except for two things. One: My mom decided to buy three dozen cookies for visiting family. They didn't stay long enough to eat three dozen...actually they didn't eat any at all. So I've eaten one or two a day. I really shouldn't, and I know I shouldn't, but I'm still fitting them into my fats and calories, so it's not too bad. Two: I went out to eat twice this weekend. On Saturday we went to Olive Garden for my cousin's birthday. Mostly, I had salad and pasta with marinara. Was really filling and I don't think I consumed more than I should have--I boxed half of it and had it for dinner--but it was just too many carbs and not enough protein that day. Then on Sunday family showed up yet again (still they didn't eat any cookies), but we went to PF Chang's and I ate considerably more. Not as much as I would have a few months ago, but still more than I would have liked. I also didn't know I was going out, so I didn't exactly plan it out for the day. But, I still lost 2lbs. So, overall, I don't think it affected me too much.

Also, it's TOM. Not sure I'm bloated; I feel a bit bloated. Perhaps an extra pound? What do I care. As long as I'm losing.

Day Fourty-Six: Weigh-in 6 and Daydreaming

Well, I'm later than I was last week and haven't blogged anything in between. I think perhaps next month I'll make it a goal to blog more. But for now I'm just so busy. I've been keeping up on everything weight-related but this, luckily. Exercise 6 days a week, lift weights 3 days a week..might find some core exercises for days I'm not lifting. Overall, I'm starting to see an improvement. Which, considering how much I have to lose, is encouraging.

275.6 lbs. Down another two pounds from last week. I was worried I wouldn't lose anything this week, considering we went out for sushi last week and got the all you can eat deal. I had a cucumber roll and a caterpillar roll, but I know I ate to much--considering I wasn't hungry until 7 hours later. Definitely won't be doing that again. One roll is more than enough. I didn't beat myself up over it. If I had, I would have binged that entire night and felt too crappy to get back on the horse the next day. Instead, I just shrugged and carried on. Lesson learned.

I'm also more than halfway to my mini goal. 15.6 more lbs! If I keep things up, I should meet it right before mother's day--which is also my mom's birthday. So spa day for the both of us! That or Disneyland. Haven't been there in a while. The only problem I have with Disneyland is that, while I've never had a problem getting on the rides before, that's always a big concern with me. Perhaps we'll hold that trip off until next year--or even the end of the year.

On another note...I've been daydreaming a lot lately. About things I'll do when I reach my goal weight--or get near to my goal weight. Something in the back of my mind keeps telling me to stop, that I could be setting myself up for failure if I don't focus on the present. However, the daydreams make me happy, I guess you could say. One could call them a motivator. Right now, they're mostly a happy distraction from my workout and much preferable to counting down the seconds until I'm done (which, let's face it, I do anyways). What do you think? Healthy or perhaps a bit harmful?

Day Thirty-Seven: Weigh-in 5

Didn't post yesterday since I've been so busy lately. Worked 11 hours sunday, and haven't stopped working since the first. Between school and work, it's like I have no time--which isn't true. I have time, but I'm filling it. It honestly feels so good to be back on my feet and being an active member of society after spending the past year doing pretty much nothing but sleeping and sitting in front of my computer. It's pretty much true that you can gauge how depressed someone is by how often they shower. I shower every day now. Seems expected or even odd that I didn't before, but the truth was I used to go 3, 4, even 5 days without showering. That's how far I had let myself go. Not to mention, finally, I'm at the weight I was a year ago: 277.4 lbs. Only 17 lbs to go to reach my mini-goal. Honestly it was more than I expected to lose but, I'm ecstatic that this time around is working effectively.

I'm trying to pinpoint that moment of change where I decided I was responsible for making myself happier and healthier. I don't think it was one moment, because obviously I've tried (and failed) to do this before. It seems I just got sick of my excuses. Things weren't going to change on my own. I wasn't going to wake up one day and magically have the energy and ambition required to be where I hope to get in the future. Even now, I have the mentality that "I don't wanna." I don't want to work out or don't want to count my calories or limit what I'm eating or drink eight glasses of water instead of eight cans of diet coke. But I do. I just don't know why. I guess part of it is because I'm a creature of habit. Once something becomes a routine in life, I adapt and don't change much. It becomes part of who I am. Either way *cue McDonald's theme* I'm lovin' it.

Day Thirty-One: March Goals

Well, last month was great. I honestly did better than I expected. My diet's done a 180, I feel healthier and more energetic. I still don't have a set work-out routine like I would have hoped, but that's ok. I was trying a few things out last month. This month, I'll definitely work more at that. With that said, here's some goals for March! Going to follow Mango's lead and split this in to two sections...

Weight-related goals:
Exercise! 600+ minutes of cardio this month and 90+ minutes of weights. 90 doesn't sound like a lot, but if I'm working my legs running or on the elliptical, then I can just focus on arms and abs--doesn't take that long, since I'm not a body builder. Maybe ten minutes, three times a week, maybe more. We'll see.

Continue to eat well. Right now I'm eating anywhere from 1500 to 1800 calories a day and I try to keep it varied so my body doesn't adapt so quickly. Generally, about 40% of my cals are carbs and 25-30% are fats, which is well on track.

Lose 6lbs this month. I think this is reasonable. It's less than 2lbs a week. Obviously, I won't lose weight like I did at first, but I can still lose a reasonable amount.

Non-weight-related goals:
Go see a school counselor about transferring back to a 4-year university. I'd love to go back to Berkeley. I doubt I ever will. So, we'll see if I can get in down in Southern California.

Pay my car registration and set some money aside. Yay for working more hours--even if it is every damn day and I'm busier than hell now!

Contact the study abroad director about Morocco.

Keep my room clean. Why is it clothes end up in every place possible?

Start outlining and doing character development for my novel. I started writing a novel last November. Let's get that baby finished!

Keep affirming myself that I am indeed awesome. I could use some extra self-esteem, some positivity. It's coming on slowly the past week...hopefully, it keeps coming!

And now I'm off to work! Thanks you guys for your constant support and for reading!

Day Twenty-Nine: Weigh-In 4

One month. I've been successfully losing weight and changing my eating habits for one month. Go me! If everything goes well from here on out, I should meet my first mini-goal around the middle of May. Today I weighed in, and was a bit scared considering it's that time of the month, but I was happy to see the results: 281.8! I've lost 14.8lbs in one month! I know that this probably will plateau soon--or at least eventually--and that soon this is going to get harder and I may have to change up what I'm doing. Right now, however, I have to say that for the first time in a long time, I'm proud of myself. I'm usually so hard on myself, but now, I feel like I can do just about anything if I can keep this up. And I know I can.

I tried running today. I won't lie, it was terrible. My sports bra was too tight and it kept rubbing, my ipod bounced too much in my pocket, and my asthma kicked in pretty quickly. But, I made it down the hill (wasn't a really steep incline), and then walked back up it...maybe a quarter of a mile. I feel crazy, but I really want to run despite my asthma and everything else I have working against me. Maybe I should find something easier though. Not sure yet, but I'm going to try again tomorrow and every morning the rest of the week. If it doesn't go well, it doesn't and I move on.

This month might be a bit more difficult. I picked up more hours at work and, because of it, things will have to change a bit. No more late evening dinners, since I work nights 6 days a week--have to eat at 6, which I actually hate. I like eating at 8. Hopefully it'll be good for me, though. I'll make more money for better rewards for meeting my goals and I'll be able to pay some bills off. Planning a trip to Spokane to see my best friend and, if I can get financial aid for it, since it's technically a study abroad program, I'm off to Morocco for two weeks. This is BIG. I can't emphasize how big. Morocco is the number one place I have to go before I die. Cross your fingers for me, please!!