Day Thirty-Seven: Weigh-in 5

Didn't post yesterday since I've been so busy lately. Worked 11 hours sunday, and haven't stopped working since the first. Between school and work, it's like I have no time--which isn't true. I have time, but I'm filling it. It honestly feels so good to be back on my feet and being an active member of society after spending the past year doing pretty much nothing but sleeping and sitting in front of my computer. It's pretty much true that you can gauge how depressed someone is by how often they shower. I shower every day now. Seems expected or even odd that I didn't before, but the truth was I used to go 3, 4, even 5 days without showering. That's how far I had let myself go. Not to mention, finally, I'm at the weight I was a year ago: 277.4 lbs. Only 17 lbs to go to reach my mini-goal. Honestly it was more than I expected to lose but, I'm ecstatic that this time around is working effectively.

I'm trying to pinpoint that moment of change where I decided I was responsible for making myself happier and healthier. I don't think it was one moment, because obviously I've tried (and failed) to do this before. It seems I just got sick of my excuses. Things weren't going to change on my own. I wasn't going to wake up one day and magically have the energy and ambition required to be where I hope to get in the future. Even now, I have the mentality that "I don't wanna." I don't want to work out or don't want to count my calories or limit what I'm eating or drink eight glasses of water instead of eight cans of diet coke. But I do. I just don't know why. I guess part of it is because I'm a creature of habit. Once something becomes a routine in life, I adapt and don't change much. It becomes part of who I am. Either way *cue McDonald's theme* I'm lovin' it.